My daughter was uncontrollably crying the other night. It was a bad day for her. She had a day of a few falls on the playground and off of the balance beam. This was followed by an extra hard workout at gymnastics with her team mates who were willing to put in more practice time and work harder and longer at developing skills.
She said her coaches made her feel worthless because they were telling her to tighten up. I know they do not want her to get physically hurt while she is performing new skills, thus it is imperative that she listens.
It is mentally hard to feel like you are not measuring up to your peers. It is frustrating trying to do things over again, thinking you have it, just to be shot down. Competition is tough and so is developing discipline to listen.
Hearing is automatic. There are so many noises and constant chatter in our brain so it is easy to tune things out.
Listening is a gift we give to others.
Listening is doing so without the force to have to fix or change something.
Listening is putting our own needs aside and dulling the brain chatter.
Listening is sometimes just asking the other person to tell you more.
Listening is accepting yourself enough in order to be there for another person.
We all feel like we do not measure up compared to others. In this feeling of not being enough, we won’t be loved or accepted. In this space, we will die. We need others acceptance in order to feel alive.
I had to put my own desire to fix things for her aside. I had to face the “yeah, me too, I don’t feel good enough either” state of vulnerability. I had to have enough self love in order to just be there for her because it is easy to say to her, just listen to your coaches and you will get the results. This wasn’t about results of her physical actions.